


Lost Wolf

by DarthDre



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, POV Female Character, POV Lavellan, POV Solas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-08-28 19:42:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8460550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthDre/pseuds/DarthDre
Summary: The story of Fen'Harel, known to Vel as Solas has revealed himself as the Dread Wolf. Despite his plans to destroy the world in an effort to restore the pride of the elves, Vel believes she can change her lover's heart. But can she? How can she convince the man that she loves that the world they live in now is worth saving as well?





	1. Heartache

Solas sat at the base of a tree; his head between his knees and his hands gripping the soft blades of grass on the ground.

_Vhenan._

She had the look of disbelief and hurt on her beautiful face. Her golden eyes that normally shone so bright like the sun in the sky, dimmed as she learned the truth. Even with her hand causing her so much pain, she spoke defiantly, “Solas, var lath vir suledin.”

He smiled a little as he remembered those words she spoke. But the smile was quickly wiped off as he recalled how he left her there again. He did what he could to save her. He removed the anchor, and he tried to do it without taking her arm. But he knew that was folly. He knew he decimated her.

His eyes closed slowly. A vision of flames; lightning. Her hand shooting up to the sky to heal it’s wounds… Red hair blowing in the wind. Strong. Proud. The power of the fade glowing at the tips of her fingertips.

Rosy lips, soft and full pressing against his. An insatiable need to be with her, forever. A mind that thirsted for knowledge, truth, the unknown.

Small drops of water falling from her eyes as he told her he couldn’t be with her.

“Solas, I love you,” she whispered, almost pleading.

It broke him, that a strong woman like her was in pain because of him.

_I have to do it. I must._

The tears came out then, much to his dismay. His eyes gradually opened as he stared up at the night sky. The silver moon was hidden behind the black clouds.

_“What was the Dalish curse? May the dread wolf take you?”_

_“And so he did.”_

A sob escaped his lips.

_I am such a fool._

Nothing he did could alleviate the pain he felt in his heart. Not even the thought of restoring what was, restoring the glory of his people.

The feeling of arms engulfing him. Laying on the plush loveseat in his area as he told her stories about his times in the fade. Her eyes filling with wonder as he explained encountering a spirit that brought lovers together… a smirk spreading across her face as she said, “I wonder if that spirit brought us together.”

As if driven by a mad force, he rushed to his feet and walked towards the empty ruin that was now his home. His stronghold, so to speak. Another place he discovered in his journeys to the fade; nestled away in the dales. He didn’t need to worry about being discovered, the powerful wards he put up would guarantee that no living person, mage or spirit would ever come wandering through.

With the wave of his hand, fires were lit and the room was suddenly bright. It was quaint, much like his quarters in Skyhold. The first room was empty, save for a fireplace and a few braziers. Towards the far end of the hall was an archway that led to another room.

There were still books scattered over the desk; just because he had a revolution to lead did not mean that he would cast aside his thirst for knowledge. There were shelves of books lined up against the back wall. A crude painting on the right side of the wall depicted himself, Fen’Harel, cloaked and walking with a large wolf behind him.

Directly to his left was a small archway, that would have been overlooked unless you paid close attention. He proceeded towards the archway and up a long, winding, stone staircase. The small windows let in a faint amount of moonlight to illuminate the stones in a silver wash.

The door at the top of the stairs whooshed open and the fires lit the large room. The ceiling was shaped like a dome, giving the room a larger appearance. He closed the door behind him. To his right side was a plush loveseat pushed up against the wall, almost resembling the one he had at Skyhold, only a few shades darker and a bit wider. It was much brighter in this room than the other rooms. He needed it that way; so he could see.

It was not difficult to see in the darkness, but he wanted to look at her every minute he could. So he could feel like he was still with her. The wall on his left hand side was covered in a multitude of colors, but the color that stood out the most was the luminous red of her hair.

His heart filled with nostalgia as he walked towards the painting of his love. Longingly, he stared at it for what seemed like an eternity. His hand lovingly traced the edges of the painting; wishing it would be her. He sat on the floor next to the painting, slowly drifting off into a deep sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

The night was dark again, save for the flash of lighting here and there. His hands behind his back, he made his way to the small cove. In the distance, he could see the water’s reflection illuminating a blue glow from the deep mushroom that grew along the walls of the rock and the ground.

He hated and loved this place.

This was the place where he wanted to tell his love the truth. Where he stood, ready to confess and ended up losing his nerve.

This was the place where he removed the slave markings from her beautiful face. They were not dark, and unless you looked closely, you could not tell they were there. But they were.

This was the place where he broke his love’s heart. He could still hear the sorrow in her voice. The tone of disbelief at having shared an intimate moment with him, and the aftermath of the shattering of her heart.

His rhythm slowed when he heard a small sigh. Quietly, he continued towards the end of the cove to see a small figure hunched over the luminous water. From a distance, he could tell that the person had a hand to their face. The other was loosely hanging on their side… her left side. Her left arm. Where the anchor was.

He inhaled deeply, and as slyly as he could, backed off into the shadows, watching her from a distance. He felt ridiculous for not noticing it was her in the first place; the red in her hair was not as bright as it would have been in normal light, it was muted.

His heart beat so fast, so hard, he was terrified that she would hear it. Strangely, although he was hidden, he secretly hoped that she would turn. He wanted so badly to see her face again. It was only a few days since he last saw her; but before that, it had been two years. He deliberately avoided going to places they both shared together, for fear that he might see her again and his resolve would crumble.

But now, here she was. Just a few yards away from him.

“Vhenan,” he whispered, impulsively.

Her head jerked up then, and he could feel his heart slow. She turned her face slowly, her fire colored eyes scanning the walls of the cove. The sight of her made his legs feel weak, he wanted to step out of the shadows. Fear kept him in place.

“Solas?”

Her voice threw him into a panicked frenzy and he willed himself awake.

 

* * *

 

 

His breathing took a while to slow. It was his love. Ellana Lavellan. Vel. She despised the name that was given to her. She took pride in her clan, but was estranged from her mother since she abandoned her to live in the city. He recalled when she told him the story.

_“Everyone knew I hated the name my mother gave me, and since everyone was known as Lavellan, they settled for calling me Vel,” she said, grabbing a feather quill and making it soar in the air. It was strange, that she could do magic without her staff. It was one the many mysteries he tried to answer in his journeys to the fade._

_“You despise her, as well?”_

_Her bright eyes met his steady gaze. From his peripherals, he saw the feather quill floating down to the ground, “As much as I want to, I do not. I feel… indifferent. I would not wish death on her but if she came back and tried to mend things, I would not wish to. I lived my life being loved by my clan--”_

_She was silent now, speaking of her clan brought a sadness in her. Recently, Clan Lavellan had been eradicated by some humans from Wycome. She did everything she could and she could not save them. His arms drew her in and she laid her head on his chest, “My heart.”_

“I cannot forget you,” Solas whispered to the painting above him. He wondered what she was doing now, if he was correct, she would begin to root out the spies in the Inquisition. She would either tighten security, or she would disband them and keep her most trusted allies around; such as Lelianna, Cullen, Dorian and the rest of her crew.

No matter what her plans were, his plans were still in motion. The thought of it almost sickened him. It was a price he had to pay for his mistakes. She was determined to redeem him, but was he redeemable? Was he worthy of the love of a wonderful woman?

He was not so sure anymore.


	2. Memory

“Vel?” she heard, Dorian’s voice calling out to her, “Vel? Are you alright?”

Ellana’s eyes flew open, “What?”

She took in the sight around her; she was in the Winter Palace. The windows in her room were open and the sweet aroma of dawn lotus filled the air. From what she could tell, it was almost noon. Dorian sat in a small chair next to her bed, “I asked if you were alright, you were mumbling in your sleep.”

Ellana recalled the dream she had; she was in the cove in Crestwood, where she had her vallasilin removed with Solas. She heard his voice. It was just a whisper, but she had the faint feeling that someone was watching her. She could never forget his voice.

“I’m fine, Dorian,” she answered, closing her eyes.

“How is the pain? Do you need me to set another spell?”

She looked down at her left arm and lifted it up. Although it was badly bruised, she could finally move it and very hesitantly, she made a fist with her hand. The pain was intense and it felt like hot fire in her veins, but, she attributed that as a good sign. At least she could feel pain.

“I feel the pain, alright,” she winced, grabbing her left arm with her right hand and slowly opening the fist she made, “Leave it. I can handle it.”

Dorian made a face, but he did not object, “Strange that he was able to remove the anchor without killing you or taking your arm. Corypheus was not able to do it; but Solas had the power to do it this whole time and left it on you. Curious.”

“I don’t think he had the power to do it the whole time; when I went through the Eluvian, the Vidasalla and the rest of the Qunari were turned to stone. He got stronger, I don’t know how, but he did,” she looked down at her hand.

The wraps covered a gaping hole where the anchor once was; Vivienne and Dorian spent hours performing countless spells trying to close it. They could only perform the spells during different intervals throught the day, so as not to exhaust themselves. Apparently, the spells they used were very complicated and required a large amount of lyrium to make them have the desired effect. Slowly, they were making progress on closing the wound. Vel tried to contribute to her own healing; but as she was weak at the moment, it was difficult for her to get in as much healing as they could.

“Well, lucky that it did not maim or kill you,” he said, walking towards the open window as she got out of bed. He leaned on the windowsill, “Could you do it?”

Ellana turned from struggling to put a different coat on to look at him, confused. Dorian walked towards her and helped her put her coat in place, “Could you kill him?”

“No,” she answered, honestly, “I love him, still. It probably makes me a fool, but…” she let her words trail off. She was not sure how to continue her words. She wanted to save Solas. She wanted to turn him around and change his mind.

“Whatever you decide to do, you have friends that love you. I can’t speak for us all, but if you need help convincing that bloody egghead to change his mind, you need only ask,” he said, touching the crystal on her necklace.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was a wonderful afternoon. Ellana knew that it would be a long time before she saw any of her beloved friends. They all had their own matters to attend to.

She would miss them all, but she knew it was better that they do what they had to do. Before they left, they all swore to come to her side whenever she needed them. Now, she stood at the edge of the balcony at the Winter Palace, alone. Her eyes lingered on the sky, flashes of green lightning lighting up the clouds.

“Inquisitor,” she heard Cullen’s voice, behind her.

“Yes, Cullen?”

“Lelliana has asked me to accompany you to the meeting,” he said, offering his arm.

Ellana took it and winced again, as the pain in her left arm pulsed, “Is she still worried that Qunari are after me?”

“We all are,” he said, then added, “But we’re always concerned about you. You are the Inquisitor and that makes you a target.”

“I can handle myself,” she huffed.

Cullen nodded, eyeing her left arm as if to make a point. The rest of the walk to the small room beneath the Winter Palace was quiet.

As she entered the room, Lelliana started, “My agents have found nothing, with the Eluvians, he could be anywhere.”

Ellana walked over to the table where the map of Thedas lay spread open.

Cullen joined her on the opposite side of the table, “Maintaining the Inquisition, even as a peacekeeping force, leaves us vulnerable to agents of the Dread Wolf…”

“But it also gives us the strength to respond,” Lelianna countered.

Cullen sighed and leaned over the map, “We will need to be careful.”

Lelliana nodded, “Solas knows everything about us, who we are, how we work. Our strengths and weaknesses.”

_They’re right._

“Then we find people he doesn’t know. We will save our friend from himself,” she said, then felt doubt creep into her mind, “If we can.”

She pointed her finger to the Tevinter Imperium, “We have made some allies in the Imperium, it’s likely they’ll be able to provide people that have not been swayed by Solas.”

“Possibly, do you think Dorian can help with that?” asked Cullen.

Ellana’s hand went to the crystal around her neck, “I can see what he can arrange. He is in a new position of power so he might be able to convince some of the magisters to help our cause.”

"Very well, in the meantime, we need to get back to Skyhold. We will do additional planning once we're there," Lelliana said, "And we will also begin investigation to root out Fen'Harel's spies."

Vel nodded, "Let's go." 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Her frustration grew being seated inside the caravan. She longed to feel the wind on her face as she strode on her Hart. But as she was still injured, Cullen and Leliana insisted that she ride in the caravan for the trip back to Skyhold.

Vel muttered the spells Dorian and Vivienne taught her, trying her best to heal herself. She silently cursed herself for not taking more time to learn the healing arts. She knew the basics; keeping pain at bay, how to use some of her magic to push out enemy magic. She was not as advanced as Dorian, Vivienne or… Solas.

She felt the slight jump in her heart and quickly ignored it by continuing the spells.

_“Vhenan, I have told you again and again that you must be wary of your surroundings,” Solas lectured, applying a very complicated healing spell to her hand. It was almost cut cleanly off by a red Templar; she was able to lessen the pain but needed assistance with making the muscles, tendons and bones connect together._

_“Solas, you worry too much, I am fine,” she said, wincing slightly as Solas applied one last spell to her injured hand. In an instant, it was back together, all that remained was a scar._

_“Now you are,” he countered, rubbing her hand gently. She lazily laid back against the soft grass, stretching and allowing her joints to crack. The warmth of the campfire went past her skin to her bones._

_“Here, drink this,” Solas said, handing her a small wooden mug, “It’s elfroot, similar to what we use in our potions; it will allow any tendons that I may have missed to reconnect properly.”_   
  
_She sat up as she took a drink from the mug and sighed, “I should probably learn to heal.”_

_Solas chuckled and she smiled; he was always a serious man, so to hear him chuckle always brought a smile to her face, “How is that funny, my dear Solas?”_

_“I have been trying to teach you to advance in the healing arts, you have an aptitutde to learn things quickly, but only if you want to,” Solas said, laying down next to her. He looked up at the sky, thinly covered with clouds._

_With a wave of her hand, Vel moved the clouds and allowed the brilliant moonlight and starlight to shine down on them. She finished her tea and lay with him, resting her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her…_

She shook her head at the memory. She squinted her eyes in determination and tried to recall the spell Solas used to heal her. Muttering the words, she felt the magic surging into her body, taking root in her arm and in her hand. She felt the exhaustion creeping up, and with a loud grunt, she fell back against the wall of the caravan, tired and breathing hard.

Vel was still able to feel the pain, except now, she was able to move her hand without wincing. It ached, like a bad bruise. She poked at her hand, still feeling the hole through the wraps. It seemed a little bit smaller now. She smiled at herself, pleased that she recalled the spell, and that she pulled it off.

Silently, she thanked her memory for not failing her; and Solas.

She wished that she would be able to see him in her dreams again, even if it meant that she would have to recall painful memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think?  
> For the sake of the storyline, I spared my Quizzy's arm.  
> I'll make sure to include a flashback or something on that in the next chapter.


	3. Distraught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry that these chapters take me forever to write; I want to make sure that they're good so I go through many rough drafts and proofreadings/edits before I am finally satisfied. Anyways. Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

_Vel tried not to let her body succumb to the shock of seeing her arm beginning to disintegrate in front of her. Watching the Eluvian that Solas just left through, she swiftly began to utter a spell to try to keep the disintegration at bay. She could feel the heat of it, making its way up to her arm. The pain was searing._

_“Vel!”_

_In the distance, she could hear Dorian’s voice calling to her. She dared not answer, for fear that if she stopped whispering her spell, the magic trying to destroy her arm would take hold. She shut her eyes tightly, in concentration. She felt strong arms around her._

_“Oh shit, boss, are you alright?”_

_She kept going. Not answering the Bull._

_“Maker’s breath! Dorian, can you help her?”_

_Vel heard Dorian gasp and begin to start a spell._

_“I can’t, her spell is stopping any magic from coming through to her body. Vel,” he said, gently._

_Vel opened her eyes, continuing her spell. She could vaguely feel Iron Bull’s arms around her, trying to keep her from falling into the water. She briefly made out Cassandra’s face, full of concern._

_“Vel, I need you to stop your spell so I can help you,” Dorian continued. He guessed at her hesitation when she continued, “I can stop the magic from destroying your hand, but you need to stop. You’re magic is blocking mine from entering your body.”_

_She refused to stop. Dorian put his hands on her face, “You can trust me, my dear. I can help you.”_

_Tentatively, she let go. The pain that she was holding at bay came on full force. For one second, she felt the burning heat of Solas’ spell take over her arm. It pulsed from where the anchor was to her shoulder. She looked down at her hand and saw bits of her hand start to fall off in small chunks. They glowed green and made a soft plopping sound as they hit the water._

_Dorian quickly started chanting his spell. And for a moment, she felt relief before she closed her eyes and allowed the darkness to comfort her._

 

* * *

 

 

The pain in her arm dulled out to a sting. She walked along the halls of Skyhold alone. It was silent as the silver light of the moon shone in through the windows. Ever since the Exalted Council, most of her companions left to attend to their business. It made the halls seem empty.

She made her way to the rotunda where Solas used to stay. She admired the paintings on the wall, as she normally did when she was alone.

During times like these, Dorian would come down from his area and keep her company, assuming he wasn’t with Iron Bull. Now, it was just her.

In the very top of the tower, she could scarcely hear the sounds of footsteps. Lelliana was most likely shuffling through spy reports; checking to see which members of the Inquisition were susceptible to being agents of Fen’Harel, or Solas.

In the past month alone, they lost more than half of their agents, soldiers and elven workers. Vel wasn’t worried, she knew where most of them were going.

She allowed a small smile to creep on her as she remembered watching Solas sketch on the walls of the round room. The look of concentration in his eyes, the way his gentle hands mixed the paints before he applied them to the rough surface. How she would jump on his back to distract him from his work. The smile on his face when she showered him with kisses and Dorian tossing them a book from above to make them stop their obscenities.

The late nights they spent together, tea in their hands, speaking of magical theory. Solas continuing to educate her on the workings of the Fade and his journeys.

Vel sat on the chair next to the table, piled high with papers and books. She picked one up on Entropy, a style of magic that she was familiar with, though she rarely used it. She always found it useful to know different forms of magic to have the upper hand and never be caught off guard.

She was engrossed in reading the books Solas left that she wasn’t sure how long she was there when she heard Cullen’s voice, “I thought I might find you here.”

“Cullen,” she breathed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. I was—“

She pointed to the book meaningfully, he chuckled, “I apologize, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“No worries,” she said, leaning back on her seat, “What’s on your mind?”

He held a board with some forms in his hand, “I’ve been looking over these reports that Lelliana’s agents forwarded to me; we’ve been getting accounts of elves disappearing from the alienages across Thedas. From Denerim to Kirkwall. Solas’ army, if that is what it is called, is growing.”

Vel rubbed her eyes. Cullen handed her the board and she paced around the rotunda as she skimmed across the report, “It doesn’t seem like an army to me. When I spoke to Solas in the Crossroads, he justified his actions all those years ago, saying that he turned against the Evanuris to free his people. I also saw some inscriptions when I was looking for him, one of them offered shelter to his people and protection. I feel that he would not force the elves to fight—“

“But since they’ve been living like slaves they might,” Cullen said, finishing her sentence and continuing, “They have built up enough resentment on how they have been treated, it fits.”

“Yes,” she sighed, putting the board on the table, “Our forces are half of what they were when we started, maybe less.”

“We may have more if we continue our efforts in Tevinter,” Cullen pointed, trying to remain optimistic.

Vel motioned for them to walk. She was able to concentrate better when she felt the fresh air in her face. They walked along the battlements that connected the rotunda to Cullen’s office, “I have spoken to Dorian here and there, I have offered him the best advice I could on handling the magisterium, but I’m no diplomat. The most I could do is keep his spirits up; he is having a difficult time swaying them to our cause. Most of them are still set in their old ways. Dorian feels that by changing the magisterium, he would be able to assist us completely.”

“That would probably be the best thing to do,” Cullen said, crossing his arms as Vel leaned against the stone battlement.

The night air was cool, and she sighed heavily. Her frustration seeping through.

“Inquisitor,” he started, “These things will take time.”

“I know, I know… I’m just thinking if rebuilding an army is the best approach. I don’t want to fight Solas.”

Cullen walked towards her and leaned against the battlements, a few inches from her. Cullen was very careful these days about what he said and where he said it, “I would rather not fight him either. He is a friend. However, it is best to have an army, in the event that we might have to fight.”

Vel thought about what he said, “You’re right.”

He nodded, “I must get back to my duties.”

Cullen began to walk away. He paused and turned, “For what it’s worth, Solas was a fool to leave you. For your sake, I hope this doesn’t turn out the way I imagine it will.”

_I hope so too._

She decided to head back to her quarters, her thoughts still on her love. No matter what she did, whatever anyone said, she could not stop her mind from thinking of him.

Her legs dragged heavily behind her with every step she took to her lonely tower. In her lonely fortress. When she finally made it to her quarters, she stripped to nothing, letting her clothes fall into a heap on the floor. She pulled the clip on her hair and allowed her long, red tresses to fall gracefully down her back.

Vel fell onto her soft Orlesian bed, staring at the ceiling with empty eyes. She willed her thoughts to somehow carry to him.

_Please, don’t do this. We can change the world, leave it better than it was before. But, do not destroy it._

She knew it was foolish. He wouldn’t hear her. Her thoughts were her own. She reached out, and found nothing on the other end. She was, indeed, alone.

 

* * *

 

 

_The crackling in her fingertips surged with lightning and fire. She refused to let the Vidasala take her love from her. Not before she got her answers._

_Qunari came from all sides as the Saarebas threw wave after wave of powerful magic at them; Dorian quickly put up a protective barrier to save them all from the upcoming blast. In the distance, she heard Iron Bull shouting, “Is that it? I went through Seheron you little shits!”_

_Cassandra pummeled her way through a pack of the Qunari warriors, her resolve not faltering._

_Vel felt the heartache, and pushed through it. She could feel her magic waning and her body start to feel weak. Her hand pulsed with power from the mark and as the Qunari surrounded them in droves, she let the power loose and could only watch as the force blew their enemies into chunks of meat._

_The Saarebas disappeared and the rushed forward; she could feel the reluctance of her friends as they followed behind her. But they said nothing and continued to follow. For that, she was eternally grateful._

_They finished off any Qunari that blocked their way to the upcoming eluvian. As soon as they exited the eluvian, Iron Bull started, “Alright, maaravas katara!”_

_“You are dead, Inquisitor! Your soul is dust!”_

_She ran towards the eluvian where the Vidasala stood, suddenly a force knocked her down. Vel looked up in time to see the Saarebas building up a powerful force of magic in his hands. Iron Bull quickly got to his feet and ran towards the Saarebas, yelling. Cassandra rushed forwards with her heavy shield, the look on her face twisted with determination and anger._

_Vel whispered the familiar words and shot out a mighty Tempest spell. The lightning bolts striking every which way, she followed immediately with a twisting of her staff, with each twist the coils of the flaming basilisk grew larger; snaking it’s way out of her staff and towards the Saarebas._

_She could feel the boost in her energy as Dorian used his Necromancy to drain the summoned demons of their life. He blasted the Saarebas with a prevailing energy barrage as she slammed him down with a Pull of the Abyss and then proceeded to use all her force to rain down a Firestorm on him. They were all in sync with each other, all of them knowing what to do next to defeat their enemy._

_They could all sense the Saarebas weakening, his power was waning and it showed in the weak spells he blasted towards them. “Vel, use your mark!”_

_Dorian’s voice rang deep in her ears, she held out her hand and waited for the anchor to charge up a powerful wave of magic, she could hear the crackling and time slowed for a brief moment as she heard the familiar blast of the anchor shoot out its power. She looked up in time to see the Saarebas explode into pieces as well._

_Iron Bull was holding Dorian in his arms, who looked weakened and bloody, “Kadan, stay with me, you are fine.”_

_Vel immediately handed Iron Bull a health potion which he uncapped with his teeth, he let the thick liquid make it’s way down Dorian’s throat. Once he completely swallowed it, Dorian spoke to her, “Go, Vel, we will be there shortly.”_

_Iron Bull and Cassandra nodded at her in agreement. She nodded swiftly at them, her legs carried her towards the eluvian. She somehow felt it in her heart, that this was it. She felt a tugging in her heart, something telling her that he was on the other side somewhere. Hesitantly, she made her way into the Eluvian._

_Her mind raced as she tried to imagine what would be on the other side. Her thoughts quelled when she fell through and the Eluvian behind her stopped glowing; no doubt it was now locked._

_She turned and gasped, the sight of a stone qunari stood in front of her. His spear raised over his head, ready to fight. She looked around and saw that all the stone figures were qunari. Her legs carried her deeper into the stone graveyard._

_Then, she heard him, “Ebasit Kata. Itwa-Ost.”_

_She followed his voice, knowing very well that it was indeed him. The Vidasala’s voice followed his, “Maaras Kata!”_

_“Your forces have failed. Leave now and tell the Qunari to trouble me no further.”_

_Vel arrived in time to see Solas walking towards a nearby Eluvian. The Vidasala raised her spear over her head, she grunted in frustration, and instantly, she was turned to stone. Vel gasped in shock. Solas, was indeed, the one who turned everyone else into stone. It had to have been him._

_She walked towards him as he made his way towards the Eluvian. Her heart skipped so many beats. She was overwhelmed to see him again that voice was barely a whisper when she called out, “Solas.”_

 

* * *

 

 

He could feel her. Far away in the distance, in the cold stones of Skyhold, he could feel her dreaming. Her restlessness. He felt the soft tendrils of her touch try to reach out to him, and reluctantly, he pulled away.

Solas wanted nothing more than to let her in. He wanted to feel her touch in his dreams; he wished to see her golden eyes burning with a yearning for him, as they often did. He refused to lay with her for fear of hurting her far more than he would. The temptation was strong and she was patient, and without realizing it, she was slightly teasing.

He walked silently in the fade, his body taking on the form of a wolf so he would not be tracked by her easily. She was a clever woman, it would be only a matter of time before she found a way to discover what he was. For now, he hid.

He felt cowardly for it, but it was best. For both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think of this chapter?  
> Love it? Hate it? 
> 
> Leave your comments, questions, concerns, suggestions!
> 
> <3


	4. Progress

Vel breathed in deeply, she held her breath as long as she could before letting out a heavy sigh of frustration, “The reports are recent?”

“I’m afraid they are, Inquisitor,” Lelliana replied, “The rest of the Dalish clans in the Kokari Wilds have gone missing.”

Cullen and Josephine both stared at Vel, waiting for her reply. Her hands were on the table, staring at the map, wondering where Solas was right now.

“We also got word about a failed attempt at Dorian’s life,” Cullen said, snapping Vel from her concentrated stare at the map.

“What?” she asked, shock and anger seeping through.

“Some people in the magisterium attempted to assassinate Dorian, whether they worked for Solas is unknown. The Iron Bull assures us that Dorian is safe and has declared himself personal bodyguard to him.”

Vel sighed in relief. The Iron Bull loved Dorian, no doubt he would stay there to make sure his love was safe, “Well that explains why he hasn’t been answering me.”

They all chuckled; trying to make light of a dire situation. Lelliana’s eyes looked tired, Josephine’s smile didn’t reach her eyes. Cullen rubbed his head, the withdrawal from the lyrium still taking its toll. She smiled at them, trying to speak of her appreciation without words. They all could leave if they wanted to, but they stayed.

“You are all dismissed,” Vel said.

Getting the hint that she wanted to be left alone, they left the war room. She vaguely caught a short glance from Cullen. She smiled softly, trying to assure him that she was fine.

The door shut quietly behind her. Her hands went to the crystal around her neck; she charged it with her magic and spoke into it, “Dorian?”

“Dorian, are you there?”

It was a few moments, “I’m here, Vel.”

“Oh thank heavens, I heard about the attempt on your life. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I went into hiding for a few weeks; I couldn’t risk anyone knowing where I was.”

“But you’re safe now?”

“Of course, Iron Bull has been following me wherever I go. There is one good thing about the attempt on my life,” he continued, “I have found some zealots and Venatori plotting to overthrow the magesterium. There was a letter, that my attacker dropped.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Dorian chuckled, “The strangest part is that there is a list of all the members of the Venatori on the letter.”

“It sounds too easy,” Vel suggested.

“That’s what I thought, until I sent Iron Bull and his Chargers to investigate; sure enough, there was solid evidence on the matter. The Magesterium is nearly cleaned out. Those that haven’t been kicked out have fled the country.”

Vel stood there in shock, she still believed that it was too easy, “So there is progress?”

“Almost, I am close to getting you the alliance that you need; just give me a little more time, my friend, I won’t let you down.”

Vel smiled, “Alright, Dorian, I trust you. And be careful.”

 

* * *

 

 

_No. No._

_Solas had to repeat the words to himself constantly whenever he saw her; walking down the steps in Skyhold. As he watched her take down horde after horde of Demons with her magic._

_But after the kiss they shared in the Fade, he couldn’t resist her. So when he listened as she spoke about how the mark hadn’t changed her personality, he felt his resolve start to falter. He started to walk away, but the gentle grip on his arm and the soft tone in her voice as she spoke ,”Don’t go,” stopped him in his tracks._

_“It would be kinder in the long run,” he whispered, thinking about his duty. The gentle hand on his arm made him all too aware of how much he didn’t care about his duty right now, and all he wanted was to feel her lips again, “But, losing you would—“_

_And he pressed his lips on hers; feeling an insatiable need to hold on to her forever. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly._

_The kiss seemed to go on forever, until he finally let go, “Ar Lath Ma, Vhenan.”_

_He swiftly made his way to his room, feeling the severity of what he just did and what he said. He meant it, he did love her. With all his being, all his heart, all his soul. He pondered when he arrived and sat at his desk. Could he spare her? Maybe she wouldn’t disagree with his plan and she might follow him. Maybe._

 

“Sir?”

Solas’s eyes slowly opened, he had been dreaming, recalling the moment of when he kissed her. His eyes met Nila’s, his agent, “What is it?”

“We have received word on the failed assassination attempt on Magister Dorian Pavus,” she informed, moving back as Solas sat up on the plush seat, “Most of the remaining Venatori have either fled or been executed by the Qunari and his mercenaries.”

“Excellent,” Solas said.

“We have reason to believe that the Inquisition is aware of this information, one of our agents overheard the Magister speaking with what sounded like the Inquisitor,” Nila continued.

“Of course,” Solas breathed, “That will be all, Nila. Thank you for the information, if anything new develops, let me know at once.”

Nila bowed, “Yes, sir.”

She left the room and Solas’s eyes wandered to the painting in front of him, his Vel.

He consistently drove himself crazy thinking about her, watching her in the form of the painting on his wall… spying on her in his wolf form in the Fade.

Her dreams were sad, lonely. Every night she called out to him, searching for him. And every night he watched from a distance as she sank to the ground, shouting obscenities.

Every night she asked, _why?_

Every night he watched her cry, and like a helpless child he stood back. His heart wanting him to go to her, to hold her and bring her with him. Both of them getting lost in the Fade forever.

And every night, he stayed put. Leaving all his desires behind, all in the name of duty.

She was going to find a way, somehow. He knew it. A part of him hoped that she would stop him, as he couldn’t stop himself.

 

* * *

 

 

Vel gripped her staff, the pain in her left arm was waning and it was not much more than a dull pulsing. Cullen wrapped his hand around hers, massaging it gently, “Is this better?”

She smiled, “A bit. The pain is gone, mostly, at least now I can hold my staff.”

“Not that you need it,” Cullen chuckled, still gently rubbing her hand.

Vel watched his hand; the hand that gripped a sword and swung it firmly, defeating his foes in a swift fall of his blade. The delicacy in which he now held it as he tried to soothe her pain was astounding. “Alright,” he said, placing her hand back on the staff, “Try it now.”

Coming out of her train of thoughts, Vel twirled her staff and shot out a Lightning Bolt at the straw dummy a few yards from her. The bolt hit the ground behind the dummy and shocked what looked like a mouse, “Well, at least I hit something.”

Cullen laughed, softly, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.”

Vel scoffed, “There’s no point in doing this if you don’t have a sense of humor; it’s alright to laugh.”

She smiled at Cullen, assuring him that it was fine. He simply smirked back before continuing, “Look, I’m not a mage, so I don’t have the slightest clue in how to help you properly channel your power. All I can tell you, the same thing I tell every recruit, it gets easier. The target is there in front of you.”

He stood behind her, his arms extended to point at the dummy, “Your eyes know where they want to hit the target, you’ve done this before. Focus, but be aware of your surroundings. Clear your mind. It’s just you on the enemy on the battlefield. Your magic knows where it wants to go, you just need to direct it.”

Vel breathed in. She felt Cullen stand back a few feet. She closed her eyes and she felt the wind slowly start to pick up. There was a fell voice in the breeze, it whispered, “Vhenan.”

Her eyes opened and she lit up the sky with an array of lightning bolt, she quickly directed them to the dummy, she let out a scream of anger as the lightning bolt struck the straw figure and a loud explosion followed.

The sky cleared, the wind slowed and there was a pile of burning, crackling straw where the target was. Cullen came up behind her, “That was fast. You really are talented.”

Vel smirked at him, trying to push the sound of Solas’s voice to the back of her mind, “I had someone properly directing me.”

Cullen’s face turned a slight pink, “I, uh, thank you, I’m going to—“

He suddenly walked off towards his office on the battlements. Vel chuckled. Before falling for Solas, she and Cullen had briefly flirted for a bit. He was still the bashful, awkward man that she recalled flirting with a few years ago. Completely different from Solas, whose quiet demeanor held a large amount of confidence. And smooth talking.

She quickly shook the thought of Solas from her mind. She twirled her staff in her hands and walked up towards the castle. Every single night she searched for him in the Fade, she felt him there. She knew he was there. And she knew that he deliberately avoided her or hid from her.

The sadness was waning and anger was taking it’s place. She recalled Dorian’s words, “That bloody egghead.”

And she couldn’t help but agree.

Her mind was filling up with an array of insults and curse words; her anger was boiling over, slowly and slowly until she heard a scream and saw Josephine shouting, “The drapery! Someone put the fire out!”

She watched as workers rushed over and tossed buckets of water at the burning fabric. She suppressed a chuckle as Josephine berated the whole room, trying to figure out who set the drapery on fire and _how are we supposed to keep up appearances if we burn the place to the ground!_

Vel snuck out of the hall and ended up in the garden; her legs led her into an old room. And still there, dusty and forgotten was the Eluvian that Morrigan brought to Skyhold two years ago. Vel’s mouth fell slightly open at the sight of it.

Setting her staff against the wall, she approached the Eluvian slowly. Her fingers reached out to it and traced the intricate design along the border. She recalled Morrigan using her magic to open it, and the crossroads of Eluvians that she led her to.

If she somehow managed to find her way through the network of Eluvians, she might be able to find Solas… or he would be able to find them. He said it himself, he controlled the Eluvians now. She wasn’t sure if this one still worked, however.

She stood back a bit, rolling up her sleeves, she built up her magic and tried to open the Eluvian. It was still a dull grey. Vel was still not satisfied, she knew this Eluvian still worked. She tried a few more times; the magic taking a toll on her.

She shouted in frustration and threw a last burst of magic at the Eluvian that now glowed a bright blue.

“Oh,” she breathed, she was tempted to walk through it. She recalled how many times she nearly got lost when following the Qunari through the crossroads in the Winter Palace. She reminded herself that Solas was in control of them now. And if she could get through, someone else might be able to infiltrate Skyhold.

“Oh this is not as good as I’d thought it would be,” she said to herself.

 

* * *

 

 

“We need to get rid of it,” Cullen, said, worried and frustrated, “If the Dread Wolf is aware of this Eluvian, which I’m sure he is, he might use it to attack Skyhold. We would be his first target.”

“I agree with Cullen,” Josephine said, “We are holding on to our resources by a thread, our old alliances are slowly coming undone with the uprisings by the elves, even here, people are wary of you Inquisitor. If this Eluvian stays, and we come under attack the people will think that you had a hand in this.”

“Especially considering the fact that you and Solas were close,” Cullen added.

Vel considered their options carefully. She agreed that they should get rid of it. But if Solas could use it to infiltrate them, she could also use it to try to find a way to locate him. Her eyes fell on Lelliana, who was staring at the Eluvian.

“I haven’t heard your thoughts on this, Lelliana,” Vel said, crossing her arms.

Lelliana approached the inactive Eluvian, examining it, “I’ve only seen the power this mirror holds once, when Morrigan brought it.”

She touched the smooth surface, “Although I agree with Cullen and Josephine, I also see the advantage we might obtain by keeping it here.”

Cullen and Josephine both stared at her in shock, she continued before either of them interrupted her, “ We will keep it under constant surveillance, my best and most trusted scouts will stand guard, as well as our most loyal soldiers to ensure that no one comes through and if someone should come through, they will most likely be agents of Fen’Harel. We could capture them to obtain much needed information.”

“Lelliana, I can see why you would want to keep it here but it is far too dangerous. What if someone were to get through, undetected?”

Lelliana looked at Vel, “We can contact some of the most powerful mages we know and have them set up wards in the room and around the Eluvian to protect any intruders from coming in.”

Josephine sighed, “I will admit, although I’m not fond of the idea, having it might work to our advantage.”

“Or it could be disastrous,” Cullen nearly shouted, his face was contorted with frustration. His eyes met Vel’s, he was pleading her silently, not to keep it.

“We should destroy it, but I think keeping it would benefit us in the long run if we keep it intact,” she said.

Cullen sighed, disappointed. He marched out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Vel suddenly felt the urge to apologize to him, she started after him before Lelliana stopped her, “Leave him be for a while.”

“So, it’s settled,” Josephine started, “I shall make inquiries to our mage allies and see what they can provide us with.”

Lelliana nodded at her, Josephine bowed slightly and left the room. Lelliana turned to her, “Do you think you can manage some temporary wards? Until we get more mages to come and reinforce them?”

“I think so,” Vel responded, somewhat unsure.

“Have your practices with our Commander warranted any improvement?”

Vel thought about the practice they had earlier; the way she felt the mood of the world turn when she called on storms in the skies. The way Cullen’s hand gently rubbed hers, “Somewhat.”

“Very well, do what you can and in the meantime, I’ll inform our trusted agents on the Eluvian. Once Cullen has managed to regain some composure, I’ll have him set up the guard rotations.”

“Do you think he’s angry at me?”

Vel wasn’t sure why it mattered to her suddenly.

Lelliana smirked, “Our Commander Cullen worries so for your safety, same as all of us. But he tends to overlook the needs over wants. He will come around, once he calms himself and you speak to him.”

Vel nodded. Lelliana left the room and the door closed silently behind her. Vel’s eyes fell on the Eluvian once more. The effort required just to power it open was enough to drain her, she doubted the wards required that much magic.

Slowly, she got to work and began muttering the spells to set the wards. Once she was sure that they were intact, she sat in front of it. Gazing dreamily into the dull grey reflection of herself.

She was conflicted, between walking away from it and powering it on to fulfill her heart’s desire. In the end, logic won over her emotions and she walked away from the dull mirror that tempted her to go looking for him.


End file.
